Panatang maka-dota
Iniibig ko ang larong dota
Isinlang ako para maglaro ng dota
Ito ang larong ipapasa ko sa akng mga susunod na salinglahi
Ang hero ko ay kanyang kinukupkop at tinutulungan
Upang maging malakas, makunat at kapakipakinabang.
Bilang ganti ay kakarnehin ko ang mga kalaban kong hero.
Paglilingkuran ko ang napili kong base
Ipagtatnggol ko ang aking base kahit na mag-mega creeps pa ito.
Hindi ko pipindutin ang F10 kahit na matatalo na kami.
Sisikapin kong maging isang tunay na maka-dota
Sa isip...
Sa salita...
at sa gawa....

Bob: Al, when did you get a trombone?

Al: I borrowed it from my neighbour’s kid.

Bob: I didn’t know you could play the trombone.

Al: I can’t. And now, neither can he.

As he reviewed pilot crash reports, an Air Force military science professor stumbled upon this understated entry: “After catastrophic engine failure, I landed long. As I had no power, the landing gear failed to deploy and no braking was available. I bounced over the stone wall at the end of the runway, struck the trailer of a truck while crossing the perimeter road, crashed through the guardrail, grazed a large pine tree, ran over a tractor parked in the adjacent field, and hit another tree. Then I lost control.”

There was a priest amongst the many people seated around the table at a restaurant. At one stage, one of the party, trying to be funny, turned to his partner at the table and said, so everyone could hear: “If I had an idiot for a son, I’d see to it that he became a priest.” To which the priest replied with a mischievous smile: “From the look of things, your father didn’t share that opinion...”

A linguistics professor is teaching her students about grammar in foreign languages.
“In English,” she says, “A double negative forms a positive. In other languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language where a double positive is a negative.”

Just then a voice from the back of the class exclaims, “Yeah, right.”

Hopelessly lost, the man pulled his car into an abandoned petrol pump in the desert and got out. The only creature there was an owl sitting on a cactus. “Owl, can you tell me the quickest way to town?”
“Are you walking or driving?” asked the wise owl.
“I’m driving.”
“Well, that’s the quickest way.”

a horse comes in a bar and asks the bartender for some Coke.
the bartender asks: "you want a straw?"
horse: "HELL YEAH!!!"

A kangaroo bounds round the Australian outback. When it comes to a halt, a little penguin climbs out of the kangaroo’s pouch. It looks awfully giddy and is promptly sick. Meanwhile, a little kangaroo sits on a South Pole beach shivering, crying and mumbling to itself, “I hate school exchange trips.”

“Daddy,” says a boy to his father, “you lost your credit card months ago and you still haven’t reported it.” “That’s because I’ve realized that the thief spends less than your mother.”

On New Year's Eve, a woman called a noisy bar to attention and said that at the stroke of midnight she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. In the resulting rush to him, the barman was almost trampled to death.

Working on a new trick, a magician turned his wife into a couch and his kids into chairs, but he couldn’t turn them back. What have I done? he wondered. How can I bring back my family?
Out of ideas, he loaded everybody into his van and rushed to the hospital. He explained the situation, and his family was whisked off to surgery.
Hours later, the surgeon emerged.
“How are they?” the magician asked.
“Comfortable.”

“Chief,” says Jimmy to his boss, “we’re having major spring cleaning tomorrow and my wife needs me to help move stuff from the attic, the garage and the garden.”
“We’re short-handed, Jimmy,” the employer replies. “There’s no way I can give you the day off.”
“Thanks, boss,” says Jimmy. “I knew I could count on you.”

The dying penny pincher told his doctor, lawyer and pastor, "I have $90,000 under my mattress. At my funeral I want each of you to toss an envelope with $30,000 into the grave." And after telling them this, he died.
At the funeral, each threw his envelope in the grave. Later, the pastor said, "I must confess. I needed $10,000 for my new church, so I only threw in $20,000."
The doctor admitted, "I needed $20,000 for new equipment at the hospital, so I only had $10,000 in the envelope."
"Gentlemen, I'm shocked that you would blatantly ignore this man's final wish," said the lawyer. "I threw in my personal cheque for the full amount."

While sitting in a taxi, a nun notices that the cabbie is staring at her. “I don’t want to offend you,” he says, “but my fantasy is to be kissed by a nun.” “Well, all right,” says the nun. “But you have to be Catholic and single.” The cabbie says he is, so the nun plants a passionate kiss on his lips. The man is momentarily ecstatic but then starts crying. “What’s the matter?” asks the nun. “Forgive me, Sister, but I have sinned. I lied to you. I’m married and I’m Jewish.” The nun says, “Oh, that’s OK. My name’s Kevin and I’m off to a fancy dress party.”

Visiting the aquarium during feeding time, a hypnotist said to the man feeding the fierce shark, “You know, I could hypnotize that shark.” “You’re crazy! He’ll rip you limb from limb,” the feeder said, laughing. “But, hey, if you’re so brave, be my guest.” The hypnotist jumped in, swam to the shark and stared it in the eye for a full minute. The animal paused, blinked, and then tore into him. The bleeding man slowly made his way out of the tank. “I thought you could hypnotize him,” sneered the feeder. “I did,” the hypnotist said, holding his arm. “Now he thinks he’s an alligator.”

Sorting mail, a post-office worker found a postcard from an old lady that broke his heart.
It read, “Dear God, I have never had a holiday. I am 86 and would love to go away somewhere special before I die. All I need is £250. Please help.”

The worker decided to organize a collection among his colleagues and soon raised £200. He sent it off to the old lady.

Three weeks later, he found another postcard from the woman. It read, “Dear God, I had the holiday of a lifetime. Thank you so much for the cash. It was £50 short, mind you. I expect it was those light-fingered b******s at the post office.”

Early in the morning, the father knocks at his son's door and yells, "Wake up, son! Time to go to school."
Sleepy, the son mumbles to his dad, "Listen, Pops... I'm not going to school today for three basic reasons: first of all because I'm dead tired, second because I hate that school and third because I've had it with those punks!"
To which the father answers from outside the door, "Well, you're going for three reasons: first of all because you have a duty to perform, second because you're 45 and third because you're the school principal!"

This was the question that vexed a rugged Marine. Every morning he picked up coffee from a machine, and every morning that cup of
coffee mysteriously
disappeared from his desk. Although he never caught the bandit, he did resolve the matter. One morning, when all
personnel were gathered
for a staff meeting, he popped out a denture from his mouth and swished it around in his coffee before placing
it back.
His coffee was never stolen again.

A civilian was golfing with a soldier who had just returned from Afghanistan. His plans included becoming a golf-course keeper once he was discharged in a few months. He applied to a local college for its golf course superintendent programme, but the department head worried that he might not be up for the job. “It’s stressful,” he said. “You have to fight the weather, insects and demanding club members.”
“Will anyone be shooting at me while I mow the grass?” asked the soldier.
“Of course not.”
“I’ll take the job.”

“That bird is so well behaved, you can take it anywhere, I promise,” the pet-store owner assured the woman.
Delighted, she took her parrot to church. Things were great until, halfway through the sermon, the bird blurted, “It’s damn cold in here!” Embarrassed, the woman ran out and went to the pet store.
“This ‘good bird’ swore in church today,” she told the shop owner.
“I’m sorry. It sometimes does that in new environments,” he explained. “Next time, grab its feet and swing it over your head a few times. That should stop it.”
The next week the woman and her parrot were in church when the bird yelled, “It’s damn cold in here!”
Quickly, the woman grabbed the bird and swung it above her head six times. Then she put the bird back on her shoulder and sat down.
“Damn,” the bird said. “It’s windy too.”